“Signs” of Depression…..A Short Story

“The buildings loomed over me, surrounding me and sucking me into a dark and terrifying vortex”

When I awoke I found myself stranded in the city of Boston in the early morning hours of Summer when it was still dark with foggy patches of gray hanging in the air. There were no cars or people on the streets. Everyone was sleeping I thought.  My car was gone, my purse was gone, I had no cell phone or money.  I was alone.  I did not know how I got here.  I started to walk.  The buildings loomed over me, surrounding me and sucking me into a dark and terrifying vortex. I thought I knew my way around, but yet everything looked so unfamiliar.  Every time I saw some sign of hope and familiarity it turned out to be a cruel and endless prank.   I thought I could walk to safety until I turned down a small backstreet I thought I knew and found that I was nowhere I had ever been before.  It was a trick of my mind, a cruel and frightful state.   I tried to follow the street signs but they were confusing and each turn I took was the wrong way, leading to nowhere.  I walked and walked, tears forming with each wrong turn onto a dark and lonely street, a sense of hopelessness weighing heavily like a cloud over my head.  I was so lost in a world I knew nothing about.  I walked in circles taking the same streets over and over again..  My mind played tricks on me, leading me up one alley and then down the next, over bridges that left me in unfamiliar areas.  I felt isolated from the rest of the city.  It felt like the city itself was laughing at me and my fear, like a pack of clowns laughing in my face and daring me to keep going.  I kept walking over the same bridges following the signs to here or there and finding myself right back where I started.  I was filled with uncontrollable anxiety and felt like I was losing my mind. Anxiety was taking over any common sense I might have had and I started walking faster and faster, running now, to anywhere, anywhere at all.  Thoughts of terror and death loomed over me.  I now knew this city was never going to let me go.  It had swallowed me whole, punishing me with every step I took.  I had an overwhelming sense of doom.  I had entered another world where I would never ever find my way out.  I would always be lost, walking and walking forever until the end of time.

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